Thursday, July 7, 2022
The Last Trip
Here we celebrate the life of Lynda. I know that many were touched by Lynda. Who was Lynda to you? Pastor Fisher had asked us that during a prefuneral meeting. I must tell you I was not able to answer the pastor. It wasn’t because I didn’t know. It was because I just couldn’t say it all in one or two words. I would wager that we have all been thinking about that question and the answer to it. I’m ready now so I’m going to tell you a little bit about her life and how she touched me.
Lynda was born in Scarborough Ontario in 1948 to John and Shirley Kennedy. Her early life was complicated by many health problems as well as three siblings within her first 6 years. I think my older brothers and sister will agree that their earliest memories will be of mom, dad and Lynda. Together they experienced many adventures and the ups and downs of life in a busy home with young parents, aging grandparents and nearby cousins. Did you know that Lynda made a presentation to Queen Elizabeth? She presented a gift to the Queen on the Queen’s visit to Scarborough in the late 1950’s. Since our meeting with Pastor Fisher debate has raged among the remaining siblings about the date but it has been verified.
Lynda was a diligent student who found that her health frequently disrupted her studies. She found academic success elusive and was directed to the commercial program in secondary school at Agincourt Collegiate where she graduated having completed the office secretary stream. She often mentioned that she was one of a few women to graduate as many of her peers left secondary school early. I think we were all afraid to let our parents down and that inspired us to strive for success as young adults.
Her education did not stop with graduation and neither did her desire to succeed. She worked in a variety of jobs over her career and continued her education where she did achieve academic success. She was hard working and enterprising. Lynda found success in her various business endeavors.
When Lynda moved out of the family home she met and maintained a lifelong friendship with Dale. Those two were busy women! Soon after leaving home, along came a young man, Don Vansickle. He was trouble right from the start. Intelligent, attractive, hardworking and totally in love with Lynda. I tried my best to get between them. I would literally sit between them on dates, really! But he wouldn’t look my way. I was only six at the time! It was very disappointing when he wouldn’t marry me. I’ve gotten over the rejection, but it took a long time. Thanks Don.
Don became part of Lynda’s life story. They raised their son Peter to be an amazing man with his own family that Lynda was so proud of.
Did I mention that Lynda loved to travel? I think she was bitten early by a travel bug. I was just a screaming monster, yes, she used to call me monster, when she went to Scotland in the late sixties. Can you blame her? She was young, beautiful, and intelligent. It was also the swinging sixties! Who wanted to be at home? When she left, she was a young adult and on return she was a grown woman.
When I think back on the trips that I shared with Lynda, I can’t count them all. I’ve started a list though. So here goes. Some overnight trips to Lynda and Dale’s apartment in Toronto in the 1970’s. Many overnight trips to Don and Lynda’s homes in Kingston, Cobourg, Edmonton and Calmar. So many that I can’t count them all. In 1988 we flew to Scotland. We rented a car. Drove on the wrong side of the road and went to pubs every day. Sometime in the 1990’s Lynda joined mom, me and the kids on a visit to Vancouver Island. In 2000 we went to Europe with Elaine and mom on a bus tour. Remember how upset mom was when the tour guide asked if we, three girls, all had the same father? It made us laugh. In 2003 or so we met in California for Aunt Jeanne’s 65th birthday. In 2005 Don and Lynda met with Andrea, John, Mom and I in Hawaii. I made a bet with Lynda that I would get Don to go into the ocean and I did! He’s not much of a swimmer. In 2009 Andrea, Mom and I flew to Calgary because I had a conference and Lynda joined us. I went to conference, and they went to Banff. I was the loser on that trip! In 2012 we went on a girl’s Caribbean cruise, Mom, Lynda, Elaine, Andrea and me. In 2018 we met with Lynda in Arizona for Aunt Jeanne’s 80th birthday.
I have a 50-year history of travel that often, included Lynda. I’ve been blessed. I’ve heard it said that you don’t know what you have until you don’t. I believe that you really don’t know what you have until you do some inventory. I’ve been doing the math. I know that I just experienced a big loss but when I take the time to look back, I can now see that I have a very rich history of time well spent with someone that I loved. I’ve been enriched!
If life is a journey, then Lynda was a trail blazer for all of us.
I would like to think of this as another of Lynda’s journeys, a great adventure. I've written this to see her off. So, I’m going to pack a bag for you, Lynda, and this is my list:
• Favourite Sandals-Check
• Bathroom bag-Check
• Cola pop-Check
• A little something sweet to eat-Check
• Skimpy night shirt (the one that I don’t think will cover all of you, but it does)-Check
• Aussie Bug Hat-Check
• Loose comfy clothes-Check
• Post card address list-Check
• Lots of hugs and kisses-check
So now Lynda if I’ve forgotten something you can pick it up when you get there and give my love to everyone that you see on this trip. I would like to give you a big bear hug and a kiss to see you off.
I can see you now all dressed up in those beautiful loose flowing clothes that you love so much lounging on white fluffy clouds. If you close your eyes, I hope you can picture her floating by!
I can see her when I close my eyes. I think she would also want to add a long pink feather boa to her attire along with a wink and a smile. Do you remember that feather boa Don? I recall that you were impressed with it!
At the beginning I asked who was Lynda to you? Do you know now? I do. She was my sister, leader and mentor.
What will I miss, you might ask? I will miss the e-cards. I will miss the pleasure of sending her a gift. She would call me to express the delight she experienced from any gift. I will miss the long phone conversations. I will think of her every time I see cottage roll on sale. I probably have one in my freezer waiting for her to stop in and pick it up. I will think of her every time that I make Christmas cake and wonder if she would like this batch. I will miss her.
Lynda was upbeat and positive. She hated wearing black to a funeral. When Great Aunt Myrtle died in 1970 something Lynda refused to wear black because she promised Myrtle that she would wear a bright colour and she did, orange, I think. For those of you who are sad and grieving please don’t. Lynda was a great believer in the next life so she’s already there. Just remember the fluffy clouds.
Please take the time to say goodbye, for now but not forever, to your sister, wife, mother, grandmother, relative and friend. Know that she loved all of you. She loved everyone the same way she lived, in her own way and on her own terms.
Also remember to tell or repeat your favourite Lynda story often. Loved ones only die when there’s no one left to remember them. Memories are best when shared. I certainly have many nice ones and a few naughty ones of my own!
Much love, Mary Ellen
